Since I discovered and embraced my true sexual self, I’ve been exploring my sexuality in a completely different way.
Before, I was a vanilla woman. My sex life was good. Yet, it was incomplete. There was an intensity I wanted to feel, but I wasn’t sure how I’d get it. I knew there were more sensations to explore.
The hunger that remained after sex (and often, during), wasn’t supposed to happen.
When I started dating Mr P., I finally discovered what I was missing all those years: I’m a kinkster. I’ve always been; I just didn’t know. That’s why I…
I’m a pleaser in bed: seeing my lover contorting in pleasure is one of the best stimuli I have, so I always aim to give him the type of pleasure he loves the most. Perhaps this is one of the reasons I never thought twice about giving Mr P. anilingus (commonly known as rimming.) Before him, I’ve never done it to anyone; he was the first man I ever did anal play with. I won’t waste my time in overthinking why I never explored this type of pleasure before. But really, why not!?
When we started having sex, I knew…
I’m a serious advocate for open communication between a couple. Yet, I don’t defend you should reveal everything about your sexual past. That’s your choice; one your partner should respect.
I defend that people in a relationship should be transparent towards each other; I can’t see any other way to make it work. But at what point this transparency should include full disclosure of your past?
I’ll go further on to say a couple doesn’t need to know every detail of their partner’s life, but that’s a different topic. …
Many vanilla people are curious about BDSM; they’d like to try “something”. Yet many don’t know where to start (been there, done that). If that’s the case, this piece is for you.
But let’s first go through the basics:
BDSM is an acronym that includes three categories:
BD — Bondage and Discipline; Ds — Domination/submission; SM — sadomasochism.
It’s important to understand that each person lives BDSM on their own terms.
You will always be in control of everything and you should never pressure yourself to do more or to feel the need to try everything.
I can’t generalise (I’ve…
Last year I had a trapped nerve on my spine; the pain was excruciating. I went through moments of maddening levels of pain. Despite that problem is seemingly solved, I still suffer from back pain, sometimes with severe flares, that can last hours or days. Investigations are still ongoing.
My back pain has affected my life in many ways, including, of course, sexually.
Sometimes, I can’t have sex in the positions I like or I’m in the mood for, because of my back pain. I have to reposition my body in a way that won’t worsen it. …
If you ask me what’s my favourite sex position, I’ll tell you it’s impossible to choose one — it all depends on my mood. I guess it’s like that with everybody, right?
Yet, I can answer you with a list of six favourite sex positions. I tried a list of five, but I couldn’t let go of one.
The first three are my favourites for when I’m in a dominant and wild mood, the other three when I’m feeling more romantic or…
Each time you have sex is unique.
And it’s always unexpected. Even if you know it’s going to happen, you don’t know how you’ll feel, what positions will you and your partner try, or how intense the orgasms will be — or if you’ll have one.
For me, that’s all part of my fascination with sex. It’s always different, it’s always unpredictable, but it’s always pleasurable (I’m sure of this because I’m doing it with the man I love.)
Depending on the mood, my partner and I — as I’m sure it happens with you — will engage in a…
I’m a sucker for sex toys. They improved my sex life in a way I never imagined could happen.
Sex toys offer you a kind of pleasure that you and your partner can’t provide (for example, vibration), and they will make sex more fun and connect you with your partner in an incredible, bonding way.
They’re also great to improve your sexual self-knowledge: by using sex toys you learn more about your sweet spots, what and how you like your pleasure to be delivered.
Despite the many benefits of sex toys — used in solo and partnered sex — there…
There are many things that contribute to a happy relationship. One of those things is both partners feeling they have a satisfying sexual life.
By definition, a sexually pleasurable life isn’t all about orgasms and the amount of sex you’re having. It includes all of them, but intimacy and companionship are fundamental components for a successful relationship.
The fast-paced lives that many of us juggle; meetings, side-hustles, kids or house chores are heavyweights on the management of our relationships and our sex life.
Our daily compromises steal our time and drain our energy levels.
If we add to all of…
Last year, I learned something crucial about myself: I’m a kinkster.
Since then, not only my sex life improved a thousand times — I finally felt the pleasure I always craved for — , but it also had a fabulous impact on me, as a woman and a person.
My sexual rebirth didn’t happen by chance or as an experiment. All my adulthood, despite having a pleasurable sex life, I felt something was missing: an intensity, a deeper, raw pleasure.
I always orgasmed in my vanilla relationships, and the sex itself was great. Yet, I knew it could be (so…