My alphabet of fantasies and kinky pleasures

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Since I discovered and embraced my true sexual self, I’ve been exploring my sexuality in a completely different way.

Before, I was a vanilla woman. My sex life was good. Yet, it was incomplete. There was an intensity I wanted to feel, but I wasn’t sure how I’d get it. I knew there were more sensations to explore.

The hunger that remained after sex (and often, during), wasn’t supposed to happen.

When I started dating Mr P., I finally discovered what I was missing all those years: I’m a kinkster. I’ve always been; I just didn’t know. That’s why I always felt incomplete in sex. …

For a fulfilled sex life, you must know what you like. Here’s how you’ll learn it.

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Having good sex and having mind-blowing sex are two different things. One is average and mundane, the other is the all-mighty of sex. For all my adulthood I’ve only experienced the first version.

I had sex “regularly”, most of the times with pleasurable orgasms. Yet, I always felt there would be more about sex — I was sure I was missing something out.

It took me a long time (too long) to finally discover what I like sexually. It took me years to meet my true sexual self.

Now that I did — I’m sexually fulfilled as I never was — I regret never invested in finding my sexual self. …

My first time rimming someone was spectacular

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I’m a pleaser in bed: seeing my lover contorting in pleasure is one of the best stimuli I have, so I always aim to give him the type of pleasure he loves the most. Perhaps this is one of the reasons I never thought twice about giving Mr P. anilingus (commonly known as rimming.) Before him, I’ve never done it to anyone; he was the first man I ever did anal play with. I won’t waste my time in overthinking why I never explored this type of pleasure before. But really, why not!?

When we started having sex, I knew Mr P. was into anal play. Once we were talking about sex toys, and he told me he had a big collection. After we had sex for the first time, I asked him to show it to me, which he did. I was fascinated; I never knew sex could be so diversified! …

6 strategies to increase your chances to have several orgasms during sex

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One thing extremely attractive in my sex life is my partner being multi-orgasmic. Often, he doesn’t need a refractory period after his orgasm(s).

I never had sex with a man that would keep thrusting after he came to the point of orgasming again (and again!). I can’t deny: my partner being multi-orgasmic makes sex much more interesting for both of us.

Being a dedicated lover, my partner won’t just cum and leave me dry (like a few of my lovers did to me.) He always makes sure I also orgasm, either going down on me or using a toy. …

5 simple and effective ways to bring (more) eroticism into your life

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When talking about self-care, lots of us think about facial masks and bubble baths. Which is not wrong, as they are relaxing activities and offer psychological benefits.

But we need to take our self-care into deeper levels. We need to include eroticism in it.

The central agent of eroticism is our imaginations. Esther Perel

The way you feel about your body impacts your sex life. If you have negative feelings about it, you’ll have a harder time to be turned on, the same way the converse will happen.

When you have a positive self-image, it becomes easier to embrace your sexiness. You become more confident and you start to prioritise your own pleasure — not only regarding sex, but holistically. …

10 embarrassing sexual moments that don’t have to ruin the vibe

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Sex can be romantic and slow, can be carnal and messy; it can be anything in between and everything in the same encounter. There’s no recipe, and it’s unpredictable to know how our bodies will behave throughout the pleasure.

One thing can never be discarded: awkward things can happen during sex.

When you’re having sex with someone, you’re sharing your body with them: the ins and outs, the sexy bits and the opposite. So, “accidents” will happen.

Today, I’m talking about the most common embarrassing sex moments and how you can deal with them, without ruining the vibes.

How to deal with the awkward things that happen during sex

One thing you should have in mind is that everybody goes through it. At one point or the other, each one of us experienced embarrassing moments during sex. …

Erotic activities for each of your senses that will enhance your sex life

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Sex is much more than bodies sharing pleasure. Sex is multi-sensorial; you use all your senses, simultaneously.

When having sex, not only you touch your partner, as you taste their kiss, and smell their body. You get aroused by the seeing of them and get goosebumps hearing their moans of pleasure.

All of this input is involuntary, you can’t disconnect your senses.

But you can upgrade your sensorial play and — intentionally — enhance your senses, to make the entire experience even more pleasurable. This can happen through stimulation of one or more senses or the reverse: through deprivation.

Let’s see how can you stimulate each one of your senses, to make your sexual experience even more pleasant and erotic. …

7 pieces of advice on how to get you ready to fulfil a sexual fantasy

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We are sexually unique. Not only our sexual preferences differ from person to person, but often, they change within ourselves as we age.

The person I was ten years ago is not the person I am now — I went a long way on my sexual discovery. And for that, I’m proud and thankful.

I’m a believer one can’t have a fulfilled life if they don’t live according to their true self. And this includes their sexual self.

As Jay Pendragon says in this piece:

Human sexuality is a sea of preferences and desires — or lack thereof. …

Single or in a relationship, these apps will enhance your sex life.

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Nowadays, you can find an app for about anything you want — including apps that help you improve your sex life. You will find them useful, either you’re in a relationship or if you’re single.

Sexual health is now gaining more attention.

Besides your physical, mental, and emotional health, specialists are also looking into ways to enhance your sexual wellbeing.

I’ve matured and enriched my sexual discovery by reading sex bloggers. Through them, I found answers to my questions and curiosities. I relate with so many stories I read here, on Medium.

But there are many ways to empower your sexual discovery — for example, apps that focus on providing advice and strategies, and also offer erotic content. …

4 ways how erotica novels will impact your sexuality

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The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say. ~~ Anais Nin

Reading brings you many benefits. It has a positive impact on your mental health and personal development.

Reading has been proved to enhance your brain function in several levels (source) and — be amazed !— this study developed by the University of Sussex concluded that reading a book for 6 minutes a day will significantly reduce your levels of stress.

The cognitive neuropsychologist, Dr David Lewis (the researcher of the study) stated, this happens because “you can escape from the worries and stresses of the everyday world and spend a while exploring the domain of the author’s imagination.” …


Emma London

Writing on Sex & Relationships. Email me at

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